‘It should be men who change their behaviour, not women’, Mid Ulster Council hears

As a motion calling for a charter to be set up to help tackle violence against women and girls was being debated recently, Mid Ulster District Council Deputy Chair, Councillor Eva Cahoon referred to the negative influence of some online contents on young people, and particularly so on young boys and men.

The motion had been tabled by Councillor Gael Gildernew (Sinn Féin, Clogher Valley DEA) at the September 24 monthly meeting.

Councillor Cahoon (DUP, Cookstown DEA) commented: “It is important that we ensure that our justice system has the tools to tackle the increasing number of offenders who use technology to enact harm against victims.

“It is absolutely harrowing to listen to some women testify about their almost daily struggle to retain and regain their sense of dignity after someone has invaded their privacy in that way. When that basic right is violated, it is not an individual tragedy, but a failure that we must all confront.

“For progress to continue, we have to be willing to have serious and difficult discussions about the safety of women and girls. Women have the right to raise questions about their safety, dignity and access to single-sex spaces without being ridiculed or silenced. Those who commit atrocious acts of violence against women and girls must face the full force of the law.

“But enforcement isn’t enough. We have to address the culture that allows this violence to persist. That begins in our homes, our schools and across our communities. Respect has to be taught early, modelled consistently and reinforced at every level of society.

“Research by the Centre for Social Justice highlights how vulnerable young boys are increasingly exposed to harmful views of relationships through extreme pornography, fractured family environments and a lack of positive guidance, leaving some of them vulnerable to extreme views.

“Children in the real world are being taught to reject sexist attitudes, yet the online world at their fingertips shows them that anything goes. Violence against women and girls is not inevitable. It is preventable. I hope we all continue to work across all levels of government to see action to tackle this issue.”

Likewise, Councillor Barry Monteith (Independent, Dungannon DEA) referred to online misogyny, and felt strongly that boys and men should be the ones questioning their own behaviour: “Sadly, in my own work, almost on a weekly basis, I’ve been involved in supporting families and women who have been victims of sexual assault or domestic violence, and it’s all too frequent.

“There’s a lot of good work going on in the community, but a lot more work is needed and it doesn’t seem to be getting done with children and young adults in relation to healthy relationships, and how they should be interacting with each other, particularly as they develop into romantic relationships.

“Sadly, online misogyny is pushing back hard against a lot of good work and is a constant issue. I know from talking to some of the youth workers in the area that it is very difficult to combat and counteract.

“The reality is that misogyny is perpetrated by men. It’s up to men to change their behaviour.

“It always struck me as pretty silly that the victims of misogyny are the people expected to change their behaviour, change how they act, change their routine, change the way they dress, change how they go home, and all that sort of thing. It should be men who are changing their behaviour, not women.

“Anything we can do to highlight and promote the message that this is not acceptable should be done, and I look forward to being involved in the discussions on the way forward.”